The best people to ask for marriage advice are those who have been through the similar experience as we do. They have already gone through the same conflicts that we now have, and with their own solution, they figured out how to live with each other for over 50 years.
Old couples who have lived with each other for more than 50 years can be surely called as marriage experts. No doubt they have had some disagreements over many things throughout their marriage but they have succeeded in managing their problems well and stayed with each other for a long time.
Here are some tips for you from happily married couples!
1. Take turns to be the boss.
Vito and Dee Dee Lonero | 54 years
“I let him be the boss for the first 50 years, now I get the next 50. It’s even.”
Vito and Dee Dee have been trying their best to live as fairly as possible. For the first 50 years, Vito had been the boss for the first 50 years, so it’s Dee Dee’s turn and she’s enjoying it!
2. “Never hang wallpaper together.”
Robert and Bernadine Higgins | 61 years
The Higgins said that they never hang wallpaper together. And that’s the secret of their long-lasting love!
3. When you go to bed at night, touch each other’s toes.
Jenny and Manny DaSilva | 65 years
“When you go to bed at night, it doesn’t matter how angry or sad you are, you don’t have to say anything but you always, always touch toes. Just a little reminder that I’m here and I still love you no matter what.”
Jenny and Manny never sleep in separate bed even though they are angry at each other. Whenever they touch each other’s toes, it reminds them that they’re together.
4. Give, give, and give.
Agnes and Harry Hutfles | 60 years
“You give and you give and you give.”
It means just what it says. Agnes and Harry’s advice is to continuously give to each other for the better marriage.
5. Have a standing date — without the kids.
Judy and Harold
“When you have children and everything revolves around them, you see a lot of divorces once they leave home,” says Judy, 72, who goes out on a breakfast date every Friday morning with Harold, 75. “We don’t let anything interrupt that. It gets us started that day, then mostly we do everything together afterward.” The outing is special, she adds, “Because it’s a time for us to talk and feel close together.”
6. Have your own space.
Maureen and Tom McEwan
“I credit still being married to living in a big house, I need space. I need to know that I can be by myself and [have room to be] artistic. [And my husband] is happy with 10 books a week in a leather chair.”
Maureen and Tom suggest the couples to have their individual space and time alone. It can be anywhere: a room, a car, or even a cafe!
7. Say good things about each other every day.
Mary and John McFeely | 60 years
“Tell [your wife] she’s beautiful every day and no matter how old you get, how sore your ‘ol bones feel, or how many teeth you lose, slow dance with and kiss [your wife] every chance you get. You never know when you won’t be able to again.”
Yes, happy wife, happy life!
8. Don’t ignore small family moments
Sherri and Charlie Sugarman
Sherri loves cooking dinner — especially for Charlie. “It’s a time where we sit down and really talk together,” explains the mother of two, who adds they work to be off their phones. “In the age of technology, I think it’s really important to take the time to be a good listener.”
Small family moments are really important to stay connected in a family!
9. Kids make the marriage stronger.
Jean and Daniel | 54 years
Jean was 19 when she and Daniel, now 73, welcomed the first of their three children. (And the second followed just 13 months later!) “I’ve never been sorry for raising the kids when we were young,” says the now 72-year-old grandmother of seven. “Now, we’re fortunate that our kids all live within 30 minutes of us so we can have get-togethers often.”
10. Seek professional help when you need it.
“I’m not Cinderella, and he’s not Prince Charming,” says Sherri. “Glitches along the way are normal because it’s hard to live together all these years. We went to a marriage counselor at one point because we were going in different directions and needed professional help. You always have to keep working on relationship.”
When they needed help from outside they went to professionals rather than going to their friends.
11. Ignore what others think about marriage.
Robert and Laura Wilkinson | 57 years
“Forget how society views marriage today. We were always in it for the long run.”
Robert and Laura said that if the couple tries so hard to care about how others see themselves, their marriage can’t last long. Just be themselves and care about each other.
What do you think about these pieces of wisdom? Please tell us what you think in the comment section below.